WEB 2. NO

I was thinking I should update my online portfolio. Oh I know, all of you out there update your sites every 3 weeks. But I haven’t really gone near it in quite a while. So in preparation, I asked a few friends what they thought of my old url. The responses were interesting.

“You don’t have any digital.”

“Where’s the digital?”

“Digital? Seriously”

Ok ok, like I said it’s been awhile. I HAVE digital, I just haven’t put any on my site. So before I went through the painful process of changing my port, I thought I’d check out the digital rich sites of my friends. (Who really aren’t a very helpful group, if you think about it.)

You know what I saw? Great print. Great TV. Great radio (ha). And a whole bunch of flash banners that featured something kicking something and a bad pun.

Seriously. It was like a dog kicking a beer can and the line “Kick off the Big Game with a 18 pack of Coors Lite.”

This is what I’m missing? Seriously? If these were print ads, they would get laughed out of ad 101. I understand that the web is a different medium, but come on.

A lot of these ads remind me of television commercials from the black and white days. Simple, goofy, and so desperate to grab attention that they are dumbed-down to the point of surrealism.

So I’ll get digital on my site eventually. But in the meantime, don’t get all huffy with me. We may think we’re in the golden age of web advertising, but the fact is, this is just the beginning, or the end of the beginning or whatever Churchill said.

Disclaimer: I am sure that everyone reading this has wonderful digital work on their portfolios. Incredible deep and strategic ideas that are interactive, viral and just oozing with social media.

Science Fair

Scientists at the Lawrence Physics Lab in Trenton NJ have made a major breakthrough regarding the nature of time. Through a combination of experiments and mathematics, they have proven the existence of Client Time.

Dr. Adam Hackle explains. “It was a mystery for years. A copywriter would create a thirty second radio script and send it to the client for approval. Amazingly, the client would send the script back demanding that five additional copy points be added. How is that possible? You can only put thirty seconds worth of material in a thirty second spot.”

Hackle goes on to tell how some copywriters even started to believe that the clients were unsure about how radio spots worked. “It is unbelievable. How could a client who had been in advertising for years would have no idea how to time-out a script? There had to be another answer.”

The answer is Client Time. Utilizing the 5th and 6th dimensions, it is possible to put more than thirty seconds of information in a thirty second spot. In fact, since the number of dimensions is infinite, you could theoretically put in an unlimited amount of copy. Hackle imagines that one day in the not too distant future, each product would only need one radio spot. “With C Time you can cover everything. Branding, multiple strategies, even price offers and phone numbers can all fit in a single thirty second radio ad.”