Love American Style

I know that I'm loved. How do I know? Because ever since my first days in advertising, I’ve been told that the client loves me.

Every time I notice that the creative work is becoming crappy, I like to point out that Bad Advertising=Bad Sales=Client Review. But before I can take my argument any further, some AE will always pipe up with the classic, “Oh that will never happen. We do whatever the client says. They love us.”

But do they really? Does love mean abuse? Does it mean begging for forgiveness for something you didn’t do? Rushing to take the blame for someone else’s mistakes? Does it mean doing things you know are wrong just so you might keep the relationship going one day more? That doesn’t sound like love to me. It sounds more like some abusive 1950’s marriage. And we are Stella.

And what if our beloved should leave? What if the head of marketing is replaced? Or quits? Or goes into rehab? Or gets hit by THE BUS?

Our optimistic AE has an answer for that one too. “That will never happen.”

AE’s seem strangely obsessed with the concept of “never.” “It will never happen.” “They will never go for it.” “They will never change their minds.” “They’ll never pay that much.” “Sales will never go up.” “Sales will never go down.”

It’s as if they walk through life believing that the business world is an unchangeable book which we may read, but upon whose pages we can never write.