Ok. I admit it. My last few post have been a bit of a downer. It’s been a tough couple of weeks (401K? What 401K?). But now that the market has gone up, up, up, everything is fine again.But as someone pointed out, I was a little bit hard on the managers.
So to pay for my crimes, here are the 25 biggest creative lies:
1. I can’t start until I have ALL the information.
2. I can’t do anything until I have the right specs.
3. I can make that change to the copy. But it’s grammatically incorrect, and the client will get letters from English teachers.
4. I’m so swamped, I couldn’t possibly get to it until next week.
5. I think I got food poisoning from something I ate at the bar last night.
6. It’s only my second beer.
7. I’ll have it for you at the EOD.
8. I can’t do that in CS2. If you want me to do it, you’ll have to get me CS3.
9. Of course I checked the spelling in the dictionary.
10. No, I’ve never smoked pot.
11. There’s no way I can put all that in a thirty second spot.
12. I have to leave early. My wife/husband called and said it was really important.
13. I have a dentist appointment.
14. I wasn’t surfing the web. I was doing research.
15. I was up to 2am working on that copy.
16. I can’t work late. I have really important plans.
17. If we got rid of the Creative Directors and Account People, this job would be so much easier.
18. We weren’t talking about you.
19. I majored in English.
20. I wasn’t staring down your top. I was just thinking about something.
21. My band is going to start playing gigs soon.
22. I am artist. You are a suit.
23. I will never sell out.
24. If I make that change, the ad will suck, sales will plummet and we’ll lose the account.
25. Blog? No. Like I’d have time.
3 comments:
If you don't mind, hack, my addendum:
26. Traffic didn't put that on my schedule.
27. I didn't rip off their ad. It's an homage.
28. I kept the copy pretty light so the ad could breathe.
29. For commercial shoots in Hawaii: I should be on set just in case the script needs last-minute changes.
For commercial shoots in Arkansas: You don't need the writer on set if you've got the scripts.
30. Of course I read the fuckin' brief. I'm a professional.
Love em!
But I have to disagree with 29. I will travel anywhere as long as I don't have to pay for it.
Even the smallest towns in the world have interesting hotel bars.
And my add-ons. :)
31. I totally care about this brand.
32. I timed it four times and it averages out to 29.3 seconds.
33. I don't want to talk smack about anyone... but______
34. We're set for the day.
35. I think I'm getting sick.
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