Tuesday, October 14, 2008


Ok. I admit it. My last few post have been a bit of a downer. It’s been a tough couple of weeks (401K? What 401K?). But now that the market has gone up, up, up, everything is fine again.

But as someone pointed out, I was a little bit hard on the managers.

So to pay for my crimes, here are the 25 biggest creative lies:

1. I can’t start until I have ALL the information.

2. I can’t do anything until I have the right specs.

3. I can make that change to the copy. But it’s grammatically incorrect, and the client will get letters from English teachers.

4. I’m so swamped, I couldn’t possibly get to it until next week.

5. I think I got food poisoning from something I ate at the bar last night.

6. It’s only my second beer.

7. I’ll have it for you at the EOD.

8. I can’t do that in CS2. If you want me to do it, you’ll have to get me CS3.

9. Of course I checked the spelling in the dictionary.

10. No, I’ve never smoked pot.

11. There’s no way I can put all that in a thirty second spot.

12. I have to leave early. My wife/husband called and said it was really important.

13. I have a dentist appointment.

14. I wasn’t surfing the web. I was doing research.

15. I was up to 2am working on that copy.

16. I can’t work late. I have really important plans.

17. If we got rid of the Creative Directors and Account People, this job would be so much easier.

18. We weren’t talking about you.

19. I majored in English.

20. I wasn’t staring down your top. I was just thinking about something.

21. My band is going to start playing gigs soon.

22. I am artist. You are a suit.

23. I will never sell out.

24. If I make that change, the ad will suck, sales will plummet and we’ll lose the account.

25. Blog? No. Like I’d have time.


M.M. McDermott said...

If you don't mind, hack, my addendum:

26. Traffic didn't put that on my schedule.

27. I didn't rip off their ad. It's an homage.

28. I kept the copy pretty light so the ad could breathe.

29. For commercial shoots in Hawaii: I should be on set just in case the script needs last-minute changes.
For commercial shoots in Arkansas: You don't need the writer on set if you've got the scripts.

30. Of course I read the fuckin' brief. I'm a professional.

adhack said...

Love em!

But I have to disagree with 29. I will travel anywhere as long as I don't have to pay for it.

Even the smallest towns in the world have interesting hotel bars.

Joker said...

And my add-ons. :)

31. I totally care about this brand.

32. I timed it four times and it averages out to 29.3 seconds.

33. I don't want to talk smack about anyone... but______

34. We're set for the day.

35. I think I'm getting sick.