As an urbanite, I spend a good deal of time traveling up and down in elevators. So for the benefit of all, I am presenting:
The Elevator Rules
If you only have to go up one story, use the stairs.
Exercise is good for you!
Do not apply perfume/cologne just before boarding the elevator.
No phone calls.
He did? No way! Again? I think I’m losing…I’m back!
Do not burp.
If you burp into your mouth and exhale through your nose, we can still smell your garlic fires.
If you have freight, use the Freight Elevator.
If you accidentally hit the wrong button, live with it.
Do not force the whole elevator to visit your favorite floors.
Figure out the direction the elevator is traveling before boarding.
Try checking the illuminated arrow on the wall.
Cover all sneezes and coughs.
Especially on a Friday.
Do not carry on loud conversations.
Unless it is about graphic sex.
You may not hold the door open for longer than 3 seconds.
Not nearly enough time for your friend to grab a bottle of water out of the break room fridge.