Wednesday, September 24, 2008

20 things to think about while your boss is talking to you.

1. My god, your nostrils are huge!

2. How did you rise to this level in your career? Was it dumb luck, or are you related to someone?

3. Why do you always smell like that?

4. I should quit right now. I should quit right now. I should quit right now.

5. Things would go so much smoother if you just stayed at home.

6. Give me the job and the due date. Then shut the fuck up.

7. Do you have any idea how much your staff hates you?

8. What is with your hair?

9. Why do you make three times as much as I do when I’m twice as smart?

10. Do you even know what YouTube is?

11. Do you ever fantasize about me? Ick!

12. Please don’t use hip-hop terms. It makes me cringe.

13. I wonder what sort of weird, freaky shit you get into outside the office.

14. Why do you keep repeating the same things over and over?

15. I can’t believe you get paid to do this.

16. Is the fact that you are my boss prove that the universe is completely unfair or simply in a state of chaos.

17. Do you realize that the hipper you dress, the sadder you look?

18. Am I going to turn into you one day?

19. Do you actually believe any of the shit you say?

20. When can I get up and leave?


the girl Riot™ said...

"12. Please don’t use hip-hop terms. It makes me cringe."


Crazylegz said...

Why do I get the horrible feeling that every line on this post is true?
-- and I don't work in an ad agency anymore, I work for PR at an NGO. But still, the same shit rules apply.

Joker said...

1. Fuck you're right... I'd never noticed the coincidence... wonder if it's coke related, all the sighs of sucking or merely a side effect of elevated salaries.

2. Some people actually manage it through talent. The other 90% (and you know I'm being generous) have landed the job because they didn't get out of advertising in time and were the lap dogs CEO's are so fond of.

3. Because when you reach a Creative Funk is when apparently you're most eligible to be a CD.

4. I agree. I agree. I agree.

5. Case in point my last 3 weeks. Sick CD's and ACD's has meant piece of mind and work environs.

6. They can keep the job and just shut the fuck up.

7. No boss is clear on how much they are hated, but it should be clear that their position is perfect for haters of all types.

8. If they have any hair left.

9. Because you don't kiss ass.

10. Yes and they want to put EVERY commercial they've ever done on it.

11. Only on tuesdays. That would explain the tingling sensation on the back of your neck.

12. Their taste in what's creatively brilliant makes me cringe more.

13. Trust me, you do not want to know. Gerbils be warned.

14. Because they have nothing better to say.

15. Neither can they.

16. No it merely proves that whatever cosmic order there is has a HEFTY sense of humor.

17. You should see how their kids feel about them.

18. Only if you stay in this industry.

19. Unfortunately they do, because if not, they'd put a bullet in their head.

20. Whenever you truly decide to get out of the biz.

Alice Thomas said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
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