Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Welcome back

10 things to do when you return from a 3-day weekend.

1. Delete all voice mail messages.

2. Check trash can for beer bottles/cans. (Secret party that you weren’t invited to?)

3. Grab a few sodas from the Creative Director's private fridge. (You know he’s not coming in till Thursday.)

4. Make sure no one has swapped your chair for the crap chair that has been circulating around the office.

5. Check to see if all your bit torrents have finished downloading.

6. Sneak into the hot girl/guy’s cube and delete the voice mail message you sent on Saturday at 2am.

7. Stare at your screen for at least an hour while saying to yourself, “I’m fucking back. I’m fucking back.”

8. Pick the last remnants of BBQ from your teeth.

9. Daydream about what you are going to do on your next 3-day weekend.

10. Delete (without reading) all e-mails that contain the following words in the subject line:

Conference
Meeting
Research
Deadline
Community
Award
Office
Strategy
Exploration
Late
Vacation
Sick
Goodbye
Important

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